How did I find myself on Chapman Highway at 8 a.m., eating a comically misnamed "Slim Stack" of pancakes, listening to Kate Bush sing to a skateboarding skeleton hanging from the ceiling, while sipping Tito's and orange juice?
There is only one possible answer: I was among the first to eat at the new Aretha Frankensteins in South Knoxville.
I'm a Chattanooga native who had never had an Aretha's pancake. That's a bit like growing up in Memphis and never eating a BBQ sandwich or growing up in Nashville and never eating hot chicken. Somehow, a little house in the Northshore neighborhood of Scenic City festooned with retro horror and sci-fi kitsch captured the spirit of a city and the imagination of tourists.
That's why, after months of driving past the Knoxville location looking for literal and figurative signs of an opening, I stood in line at 7:30 a.m. Nov. 20. If Aretha's was coming to me later in life, I would meet her at the first possible moment.
Thankfully, the early morning crowd was modest and I got a seat at the bar right away. By the time I left an hour later with a takeout box in hand, the place was nearly full, but nobody had to wait.
Let me tell you about what was in that box and what you should know about the softly punk spot that its manager said "gives off great vibes."
Aretha Frankensteins in Knoxville is much like the original
There's hardly a square foot of Knoxville's Aretha Frankensteins without a framed vintage cereal box, a sci-fi movie poster or a ghoulish figure having a great time. The restaurant's first expansion in its 20-year history delivers on the theme of the original location, and its menu is the same.
It opens seven days a week at 7:30 a.m. for all-day breakfast and begins serving lunch at 11:30 a.m.
Another similarity is its proximity to a major college campus. The original Aretha's is popular among students at the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga, if they can manage to get a seat. In Knoxville, there's an even larger customer base nearby at the state's flagship school.
"We're glad to be close to the University of Tennessee," general manager Robbie Adams told Knox News. "That's why we came here, to be close to the university and bring a little of Chattanooga Aretha to Knoxville. It's a happy, fun place to be in."
Aretha's isn't the only way South Knoxville might follow Chattanooga's example. A consulting firm told the city in September that a stretch of Sevier Avenue east of the Gay Street Bridge presents an opportunity for a "statement piece" like the Tennessee Aquarium in Chattanooga.
The South Waterfront is already bustling with new development, and its One Riverwalk luxury apartment complex sold for a whopping $124 million last month. Aretha's, positioned on the "morning side of the street" as Chapman Highway commuters drive downtown, hopes to capitalize on the energy, said property owner Jake Ogle.
There are only a handful of independent breakfast and brunch spots in the Scruffy City and not all serve co*cktails, wine and beer alongside coffee and espresso, like Aretha's does.
"We believe Knoxville is going to fall in love with (Aretha Frankensteins) once they get to experience it. It’s a category killer," Ogle told Knox News. "It’s fun, different and creative. That’s what makes it special. There are a lot of cool things happening in South Knoxville and Aretha's fits in really well with all that's going on in the community."
Don't let the niche monsters or colorful drink menu, with its "quaalude milkshake" and espresso martini, scare off the kids. Aretha's is designed to be family-friendly, in addition to punk rock and macabre. At the least, kids will enjoy the massive pancakes and chandeliers straight from a medieval castle.
What's on the menu at Aretha Frankensteins?
Speaking of the pancakes, Aretha Frankensteins may test your limits. I ordered just two, topped with a scoop of blueberry mélange, and didn't quite finish them. Maybe that's because I had a cheese omelette, grits and a biscuit on the way, but the pancakes are big.
They are exemplary flapjacks, with a crisp exterior and a fluffy inside, a combo that has made Aretha's boxed pancake and waffle mixes a bestseller in select Food City, Publix and Walmart locations and online.
The omelette, stuffed with pepper jack and herbed gouda (you can choose your own combo), was easy to eat even after a large plate of pancakes, and the grits and biscuits were their own kind of fluffy.
I did not get the "Waffle of Insane Greatness!," but there's only so much breakfast you can take. On return trips, I may try out a breakfast burrito or a scramble. If I come by after 11:30, I may also try the lunch menu, a mixture of Tex-Mex staples and sandwiches friendly to all kinds of diets.
Aretha Frankensteins is open at 3318 Chapman Highway until 2 p.m. on weekdays and until 3 p.m. on weekends, in case you need to sleep in. I personally wouldn't wait too long, though. If it successfully replicates the original location's reputation as well as its vibe, lines will form soon.
Daniel Dassow is a growth and development reporter focused on technology and energy. Phone 423-637-0878. Emaildaniel.dassow@knoxnews.com.
Support strong local journalism by subscribing atknoxnews.com/subscribe.